The Red Flags: Dealing with Difficult People

We like to think we will make the necessary decisions to change our life of our own accord – but the truth is, it takes a kick in the bum or a smack on the head to realise how one small slip led to another and yet another and then suddenly you’ve got a huge problem on your hands. 


“Were there signs?” he asked me as I sat with him on his porch in DC. 

Oh yes. He’s asking me if there were any red flags. 

My fast-paced instinctual mind rewinds back to slowly see the little moments – the signs and the clues that were hidden to help me see the truth. Sometimes it’s so obvious that you can’t help but see it. Other times it’s subtle and builds up over time. 

There are many wolves in sheep’s clothing out there. People who put on a smile, say a kind word and get you thinking that they’re on your side. But the truth is, they’re just trying to get what they want out of you. Perhaps it’s money. Perhaps it’s power. Perhaps they want to keep you down to maintain their position. 

Who knows?

I’ve known a few people like that. People who won’t listen to reason. People who cannot make a decision for the collective benefit of all. They create situations where they win and you lose. There is no point in trying to reason with them. No matter what you say, do or explain – they will simply refuse to listen or understand your point of view.

They are right. You are wrong. End of story. 


I don’t believe in kicking people out of my life at the first sign of trouble. I’m a big believer in second chances. Of trying at things again and seeing if they will work out. My mind flashes back to some people whom I’ve afforded the luxury. The truth is, most of those people were not worth the second chance.

Some of those decisions I regret. Other decisions, I don’t. Even if it didn’t lead to the outcome I wanted, it led to an outcome I needed to move to the next stage of my life.

It’s incredible to see how little self-respect and work ethic some people have. They want to get the maximum return for the least amount of effort and responsibility. They put their needs first and don’t realise that it takes a team effort of mutual cooperation and understanding to build something that lasts.

Otherwise the cracks will appear and things will fall apart. 


Look at the contrast between the two towers in the picture above. In one tower, two people are falling out of it. In one tower, two people are celebrating having built something of value together with trust and understanding. 

“The soul is going to reach it’s destination,” he tells me as I begin to fall asleep on the porch in the US capital. “The journey is preparing you for the destination.”

I don’t know what that destination is. But for now, I think it’s bed. 

I need sleep. 

Till next time, goodnight.

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