My first Saturn Return was a time of boundaries and blockages, of breakdowns and breakups, and of stagnation and strife. Like a harsh teacher from hell, Saturn came down on my 7th and 10th houses like a ton of bricks. Everything I had, knew and was came crashing down. There were so many days I felt like I was crawling through a dark lonely tunnel where there would be no light at the end of it all. But as I look back now – I realise that I spent those three and a half years building a foundation that’s solid, resilient and tough.
There are many out there whose Saturn Returns come and go without so much as a whisper; and then there are others like me – whose Saturn Return marks them with scars all over.
And yes, I am scarred.
And for the first time in my life, I don’t say this in a negative way. In the past, I would have hidden away the pain I suffered; but now I understand that each scar is a battle fought. Some I lost. Some I won. But I didn’t give up. I continued the good fight and didn’t run away. And today those scars have all healed over.
I can finally start anew.
If the choice is between pain and pleasure – most of us won’t hesitate to choose pleasure. (Unless of course, we’re masochists – but I won’t get into that.) Growing up and growing older is painful. But I know now that to truly mature; we have to leave the comforts that we’ve grown accustomed to behind and forge ahead into the unknown.
Four months have passed since Saturn entered Capricorn. The past four months have been a time of boundaries lifting, of blockages breaking down, of stagnant waters starting to flow, and of new opportunities. My Saturn Return may be over, but the lessons of those years linger on. After all, Saturn is the Great Teacher of the cosmos.
He taught me to be the fearless warrior from the Nine of Bows from the Wildwood Tarot Deck. The journey was tough. I was out alone in the woods. But it is because of that journey that I am unafraid of anything life is going to throw me.
It is not that I do not fear. It is that I know I can overcome fear. I can’t say I love Planet Saturn. But it is safe to say that he has earned something perhaps far more valuable.